Complete & Utter Honesty
by Cattie V
Summary: A conversation with Marlee convinces America to reveal her secret to Maxon.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing! I am simply borrowing the characters and the story from Kiera Cass.**

"I'm so happy you're staying!"

Marlee squealed and hugged me tight. I laughed and hugged her back. "Me too." When I had thought I was being sent home, it wasn't just Maxon and my maids I knew I'd be missing; I knew I'd miss Marlee as well. She had been through so much, I hated the thought of leaving her without being able to say goodbye, but once I learned that I could stay, I had made my way to the kitchens to see her, careful to make sure that I wasn't seen.

We gently pulled apart and Marlee smiled. "I knew Maxon wouldn't let you go without a fight. He loves you, you know…a lot." I just nodded, thinking of the stripes on Maxon's back, fighting the tears that threatened to come. Marlee knew Maxon loved me, she just didn't know how much. I only hoped that I could love him just as much.

"So, how's life in the kitchens and stables treating you and Carter?" I asked, eager to change the topic. Just thinking about the scars and the blood on Maxon's back made me want to burst and share Maxon's secret, but I could not. I had promised him that I wouldn't and that was one secret and I would never share with another soul as long as I lived.

"Oh, it's hard work, but it's good," Marlee said, not pressing me about Maxon. "I love my life and I love my husband." Marlee suddenly chuckled. "When I signed up for the Selection, I knew there was a chance I'd end up getting married, but I always thought it would be to Maxon!"

I smiled. "Never thought you'd end up in the kitchens, huh?"

Marlee nodded. "Never. Even when I started to fall in love with Carter, I never thought that I'd end up here. I never thought we'd get caught or punished either, though I guess I should have seen that coming." She sighed.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She sighed again. "In my experience, secrets don't stay secret forever. They are always inevitably found out. Not that I regret loving Carter," Marlee added quickly, "I would never regret that! I just wish I had told Maxon about Carter myself. I think when all is said and done it would have been better for him to find out from me than for him to have found out how he did."

I didn't stay long after that and I soon made my way back to my room, where I sat on the bed and thought over what Marlee had said. I knew she was talking about her own predicament, but somehow I felt the words were meant for mine.

_Secrets don't stay secret forever._

That was certainly true in Marlee's case and, as I thought about it, Maxon's as well. Maxon had never meant to reveal the beatings to me, but circumstances had forced him to do so. If I continued to keep quiet about Aspen, would Maxon find out another way? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was likely that he would. I shuddered to think of what would happen not only both to Aspen and to myself if that were to happen, but to Maxon. I had a sudden mental image of his face and there was a look of heart break and disappointment in his eyes. I shook my head, trying to dislodge the image. I couldn't bear to see it…not after everything Maxon had done for me.

_It would have been better for him to find out from me than for him to have found out how he did._

I didn't want to tell Maxon about Aspen, but I knew Marlee was right. It would better for Maxon to hear it from me than for him to find out from someone else. Besides, I had promised Maxon that I would be honest with him. It was time he knew the truth.

I got up, opened and my door, and took off down the hall towards Maxon's room before I could change my mind. I had not gotten very far when I suddenly saw Aspen rounding the corner. He saw me. At first he seemed surprised, then delighted, but then I saw realization of what my staying meant and the smile quickly disappeared from his face.

I intended to move past him without speaking, but as I past him, he gently grabbed my arm and stopped me. "You're staying?" he asked, and I could hear in his voice that he was struggling to keep his emotions in check.

I just nodded and tried to continue on my way, but his grip on my arm tightened. "Why?" he demanded, through gritted teeth. "Why?" he said louder. I flinched. "After everything? Have you forgotten what had happened to Marlee? What Maxon put her and Carter through? He's not who you think he is America! He's a liar!"

My body shook. In my mind I saw Marlee's face when I saw her and realized that she and Carter had never left the palace. I recalled the joy I felt when I knew Maxon had helped them. But more importantly, I saw the scared and bloodied flesh of Maxon's back and I heard his voice saying, "I was afraid that if he didn't have me, he'd want you." Maxon had taken a beating for me. Maxon had done that for me and here Aspen was insulting him and calling a liar. I couldn't take it anymore.

Before I knew what I was doing, with my free I slapped Aspen across the face…hard. He let go of my other arm in shock. I had never hit him before. He had never given me cause before. I knew I should regret that and apologize, but right then I was so angry that I didn't care.

"No, he's not!" I hissed. "He's a good man. He's done things for me that you cannot possible imagine or understand and I will not stand by and let you insult him like that! Good day and goodbye, Officer Ledger!"

Without another word, I walked past him and not once did I look back. As I walked towards Maxon's room, I felt my anger begin to ebb, but it did not disappearance entirely. I was, however, quite capable of rational thought by the time I knocked on Maxon's door. Any reluctance I had felt to reveal the truth about Aspen to Maxon for Aspen's sake had now disappeared. If Aspen was going to speak so horribly of Maxon, then he deserved to be confronted by him.

The door opened and Maxon looked surprised, but happy to see me. "America? Is there something you need?"

"Can we talk?" I asked.

Maxon nodded and moved aside so I could entire his room. He closed the door behind me. "We don't have long though. I have to meet Kriss for dinner in her room." He looked at me to see how I would react to this piece of news, but I only nodded. I understood. If we didn't work out, then Kriss was his next best option. I couldn't fault him for wanting to spend time with her in case she ended up being his wife and not me.

"I'll get straight to the point then," I said, sitting down on his bed. Maxon pulled up a chair and sat down across from me. "There is something I need to tell you…a secret. I didn't tell you it before, not because I wanted to hurt you, but because I was afraid of how you would react."

"What is it?" Maxon asked.

I took a deep breath. "My ex-boyfriend is here…in the palace. He's a guard."

Maxon's eyes grew wide and I could see questions going through his mind. "Office Ledger?" he asked. I nodded. "And how exactly did you think I'd react that you didn't tell me sooner?"

"I was afraid you'd get angry and have him punished. You didn't seem pleased with the way he had treated me before I came here and I didn't want to see him get hurt."

Maxon nodded as if that sounded reasonable, but then he asked, "Do you still love him?"

"I did when he first showed up here," I explained, "but I thought that we'd never get together because he had ended it. Later though he came to my room, trying to explain that he regretted letting me go and that he wanted me back."

"He was in your room?" Maxon asked. "America, do you know how dangerous that is? What if someone had come in and caught you two? What he was thinking?" He shook his head, clearly disgusted with Aspen. Right then I couldn't really blame him after what Aspen had said about him.

"I know, but at the time I was just glad that he wanted me back and I didn't really think about the danger." I hesitated before continuing. "There's more. After our first fight about Celeste, Aspen came to me…only this time…we kissed." I looked down afraid to meet Maxon's gaze.

I explained how I regretted the very next day and that I had been on the verge of telling him about it when more attacks happened and that it got pushed back to the side. I explained how Aspen wanted to fight for me and how we had met a few times in secret, but that after everything I had decided that fight for Maxon, even though Aspen was still unwilling to let me go.

There was a brief silence where neither of us spoke. I finally looked up and met Maxon's gaze. His face was a stone wall and I could not tell what he was thinking. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked finally. There was both pain and curiosity in his voice.

"For two reasons. Firstly, because Marlee pointed out that secrets have a way of being found out and I would much rather you hear this one from me than for you to find out some other way. Secondly, because I promised you that I would be honest with you."

Maxon nodded, apparently satisfied with both explanations. "Thank you." He said simply. "I know it must have been hard you for you to tell me all this, but I'm very glad you did."

"You're not angry with me?" I asked, daring to hope.

Maxon shook his head. "No, but I can't say the same for your ex right now.

"You and me both," I muttered. Maxon looked at me in surprise.

"Why?" He looked at me closely. "Did you two have a fight?"

I nodded.

"When?"

"Right before I came in here."

"Over what?"

"You."

"Me?" Maxon asked, surprised. "What about me?"

I sighed. "Aspen thinks you are just pretending to me a good man. He thinks you've deceived me and that you're not who I think you are."

Maxon studied me closely for a few minutes before asking, "Do you think I've deceived you? Do you think I'm lying?"

"I know you're not," I assured him. "If you were, you would not have taken a beating for me. I know you are a good man. I just wish Aspen could see it."

"Maybe he will and maybe he won't," Maxon said, getting to his feet. "I don't really care either way to be honest, but I will try and get to know him for your sake, if you're willing to introduce us."

"I doubt Aspen will want to see him for a while," I admitted.

Maxon raised an eyebrow. "Why not?" I looked down at my hands, starting to feel a little ashamed of myself. "America, what did you do?"

I looked up and met his eyes. "I slapped him."

Maxon's jaw dropped. "You slapped him?" I nodded. "For goodness sake, why?"

"Because I couldn't bear to stand by and hear him say that abut you after everything you've done for me."

Maxon smiled. "So you were defending me?"

"Yes."  
Maxon held out his hand to me and I took it. He gently pulled me to my feet and then kissed me. "Thank you," he said simply.

**Author's Note: So not sorry for having America slap Aspen. I've been wanting her to do that for quite a while! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and please review!**


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